Deconversion

"I stopped believing when ..."

You've heard stories like that. And I'm not trying to minimize them. These people are expressing their experience. You know how it goes. Some experienced some sort of peripheral trappings of Christianity, like the CINO, and decided that wasn't real and tossed it. Some have run up against hardships -- a sad death, some perpetrated evil, a personal tragedy -- and they place that at the end of the sentence, "I stopped believing when ..." There are, of course, those who say, "I examined all the evidence and found it wanting" and that's when they stopped believing.

I worked with an atheist once who was remarkably honest. As the time passed and we had a variety of interactions, I knowing he was an atheist and he knowing I was a believer, we came across an interesting, mutual conclusion. You see, he had endured hardship in his life. His father died when he was 12. In his twenties he had been diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, a death sentence preceded by a life of pain. "You know," I finally told him, "I'm not sure you qualify as an atheist." "Sure I do!" he assured me. "Well, it seems to me," I explained, "that you're mad at God." Like I said, a remarkably honest atheist, he had to admit to me that it was true.

Now, I know ... this is an anecdote. It is not an explanation of all atheists. I'm not suggesting anything of the sort. But it seems to me that being angry at God eliminated for him any possibility of any relief. Oddly enough, that does seem to be a common malady for atheists. Take, for instance, the deconvert who says something like, "I stopped believing when my friend asked me why God allowed her uncle to sexually abuse her when she was six." Tough question, to be sure. It would be foolish to pass it off as easy. But if we say, "God didn't allow it" and, beyond that, "in fact, there is no God", then what are we left with? What answer remains? "Too bad. Stuff happens. Suck it up. There is no rhyme or reason to what happens, so get over it."

God never promised that we wouldn't run into hypocrites who claim to be Christians and misrepresent genuine Christianity. God never promised that there would be no "untimely deaths", no personal tragedies, no evil. He didn't make a world without hardships. And He didn't offer scientific evidence of His existence (a nonsensical concept if you think about it). So holding God to a standard He never promised to meet makes little sense. Conversely, tossing out the only possible answer to the pain and suffering and death that every human encounters makes equally little sense.