Like Button

Thursday, February 04, 2010

The Fruits of Marriage

A friend of mine is the manager of the produce section at the local grocery store. He has a lovely fiance and I asked him when they planned to be married.

"Well, we cantaloupe because I have a honeydew list that would kill a kiwi. Besides, I think we could berry get by on what I make. I would get a second job, but I have to ask myself, 'How far should a mango?' I have some collectible books that are in cherry condition I could get rid of, so maybe after I visit the book celery might consider saving up for a wedding. I mean, she's a real tomato and we make a wonderful pear. She's been a great date. I'd have to be out of my gourd not to marry her. I'd have to be some kind of a nut. And all that stuff about 'You have to be ready' is a bit corny to me. Besides, I don't really give a fig if we're rich or anything, so we'll be wed someday, kumquat will. I'll come up with the cabbage somehow. Something will turnip. If we didn't marry, I'm pretty sure it would make artichoke. He's going to be my best man, you know. So I yam sure we'll get married soon. But I gotta get to work, so, when we get married, orange you going to come? If so, I'll cashew then. Lettuce catch up then, okay, Herb?"

I didn't have the heart to tell him my name wasn't Herb. And I should have known better than to ask in the first place.

3 comments:

Sherry said...

Soy, beans as it's a wedding, think wise old sage, Granny Smith, will be there to offer advice on their onion? Young couples can always use all the kelp they can get. And, even at her ripe old age, she spices things up and doesn't take up mushroom. I think that'd be grape!

Stan said...

Thanks for the additions. Good stuff.

Sherry said...

Uh, yeh. Rather weird. Veg out, man.

Sometimes, when one gets up in the morning, one has NO IDEA what one might be writing later that day!

Except maybe you. :o)