Why Do Men Look?

Why do men look at women?

We all know the answer to the question. Men look at women for lustful purposes. We might label it “Oh, baby!” or “Hubba, hubba”. Likely 90% of the time, men are looking at women for some thought process along those lines. And I don't think a single, honest fellow would be able to honestly dispute it. And we all know it objectifies women to do so. It's bad - morally bad.

I find, on the other hand, that probably 99% of the time I am looking for completely different reasons. I have hundreds of thoughts that are going through my head when I look at different women. “How long do you suppose it took for her to get her hair to do that?” “When did underwear become outer wear?” “I would think that getting a tattoo there would be painful.” “How old is she really?” “Why would a woman who looks like that be with a guy that looks like that?” “I wonder if she knows how hard she looks in the face.” “If you don't want to be looked at as an object, why dress to cater to men's objectifying looks?” “Most guys wouldn't see it, but she has a really friendly face.” “Now that is a 'girl-next-door', innocent look.” “That can't be comfortable.” Seriously, when I look at a woman, the likelihood is that I am NOT thinking “Oh, baby” or anything like it.

Here's where the problem occurs. If it is true that 90% of the time men are looking at women as objects - “with lust in their hearts” - then I find myself in a bit of a predicament. Sure, I'm looking for a hundred other possible reasons, but what are THEY thinking when they see me looking? Well, of course they're thinking I'm looking for the same reason every other guy is looking. So when I'm thinking, “What does her T-shirt say?”, you KNOW she's thinking “Get your eyes up higher, you pervert.” And that's the most obvious one. I could be looking at her feet wondering, “How did they design those sandals to stay on?”, and she's thinking, “What, does he have some foot fetish?” So I end up extremely self-conscious. I have an innate curiosity, but I know that the standard perception is that guys only look at gals out of lust, so I'm self-conscious about looking. I have to keep my mental questions short so I can keep my look short. I have to think quickly so I don't get caught looking, despite the fact that I'm not looking for the reason they think I am. So it becomes a constant problem.

This same situation plays itself out in the Christian realm. Let's take a standard, well-known error in doctrine. A particular group teaches this erroneous doctrine along with a bundle of other heresies. Then Bob comes along and states the doctrine. “Oh,” we all think, “you must be a _____.” And Bob is labelled a heretic for the bundle of other heresies which, oh, by the way, Bob doesn't know or hold to. Now Bob is defending himself against onslaughts for things he doesn't even hold, and he's bewildered. Or take the example of the National Association of Evangelicals. Many are complaining that this organization has slipped into neo-evangelicalism, a slip from what is right in favor of ecumenicalism. So, Charles is part of this organization, except Charles is speaking solidly against ecumenicalism and is actually part of the organization to try to return it to orthodoxy rather than indulge in any heresy. It doesn't matter. If Charles is in the vicinity, Charles is a neo-evangelical, a heretic, possibly even damned. It doesn't matter that there could be hundreds of reasons that Charles is there; the organization is flawed and, therefore, so is Charles.

These things ought not be. Is everyone who is a Catholic familiar with Catholic doctrine? It's not any more likely than any given Protestant understanding what they were protesting. Yet “Catholic” is “heretical” to the Protestant, and, therefore, any given Catholic is a heretic. Calvinists find themselves under the gun quite often. If they respond to attacks on their beliefs, they are responding simply because they are “Calvinists”, not because they have reasons to do so. And, hey, look how bad John Calvin was. Never mind that most “Calvinists” have read very little of John Calvin.

It calls to mind the statement from God to Samuel: “Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart” (1 Sam. 16:7). Perhaps we should be more careful in our judgments of others.