I was 34. I was working at the new company and enjoying my work with good money and good raises and a wife and two kids. A good life. Until my wife came home and told me she was leaving me for another man. That was a shock. I didn't see it coming. "God??"
I was packing stuff up to move out of the house and go to a smaller apartment. I came across a notebook with old writings in it. Twelve years before, I was that career-seeking husband and my new wife had yelled at me about how she hated me. I was a night watchman and I was crying out to God. And I started writing. How did I get here? I listed the events that led up to marrying her. I counted 28 times that I placed my decisions in front of God and said, "Stop me here if this isn't where You want me to go." I actually had approached that marriage expecting God to stop me at any point, and that was okay because I only wanted what He wanted. He didn't stop me.
So there I was, 12 years later, and I pulled out ... that sheet of paper. I didn't even know I had kept it. And I read it again. And God said, "I've got this." I heard, "In My book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for You, when as yet there was none of them" (Psa 139:16). "Oh," I said, staggered, "so ... this was Your plan ... from the start?" Yes. It was. "For I know the plans I have for you ... plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope" (Jer 29:11). I wasn't abandoned. I wasn't forsaken. I was looking at another footprint. And I could trust Him to carry me in it.
7 comments:
Clearly, this is a very personal (and painful) chapter from your life story. I find myself--an “outsider” who knows only the little bit that has been revealed--able to have only a superficial reaction, since I realize that there are many missing pertinent details. However, even though I am not a fully informed reader (and I would be inclined to interpret some things a bit differently than you have), I, too, take comfort in knowing that God is with us every step of the way to our final destination--including throughout the missteps we are bound to take along the way.
I believe God is Sovereign. I believe that there is never a "Plan B." And if we are certain to have "missteps" when we are diligently and avidly and only seeking His will, then we are in serious trouble.
I too believe God is sovereign and He needs no “Plan B” (so to speak) because His (one and only) plan includes, among other factors, the knowledge that His children will sin, err, and make poor choices--in spite of their sincere desire and efforts to live within His will; yet He will work with and through those “missteps” on our part (the completion of which is outside and beyond my understanding). I believe He uses all things (that happen) for good but not that all things (that happen) are good. I cannot agree “we are in serious trouble” when we mess up; rather we would be in serious trouble if God expected we would never err (since we do) nor tolerated it.
Your last statement almost reads like Christians will never make mistakes (or poor choices) in life. Don’t you believe that even the best-intentioned believers will sin but that God stands ready to forgive us when we do (1 John 1:8-9) and that He will salvage the “missteps” that we are sure to commit as imperfect human beings? Do you believe that those who “are diligently and avidly and only seeking His will” will not ever “misstep”?
"Your last statement almost reads like Christians will never make mistakes (or poor choices) in life." No, I specified a particular set of circumstances. Scripture says if we ask anything in His will, He will do it. If we ask for His will, He does it. If we conclude we can seek only His will and He hides it and then we "misstep," we're on dangerous ground.
Ultimately, though, even "missteps" are according to His will, like Joseph's "You meant it for evil, but God meant it for good." So I still conclude that the marriage and divorce were all part of His divine plan.
“Ultimately, though, even ‘missteps’ are according to His will….” I believe that is the very thought I expressed in my comments.
In any event, discerning God’s will is a highly personalized exercise, I think, and thus so is one’s interpretation of it.
Yes, Lorna, you did, but the implication is that I diligently and intentionally and even insistently sought God's will, intending only and always to do whatever He intended ... and He kept it from me and I made a mistake and married the wrong woman. That feels like a capricious God who played me. I'm sure you didn't intend it that way, but I don't think of God that way. I believe if His followers pursue His will, He'll lead them in it.
Stan, I am sorry if you received that impression from my comments. The only explanation I see for how you might draw such a conclusion from what I wrote is if you believe that any “misstepping” on our part denies the possibility of being in His will at all or that if we are living an obedient Christian life, we will never “misstep.” (Sorry to keep using that term, but it’s perfect for my meaning--plus it fits nicely with your “Footprints” theme. :) I too don’t view God as capricious, for He has made His will clear to us in His Word, including regarding choosing potential spouses (a topic I did not even mention in my comments). My references to “missteps” were of a general nature, as in, “We all sin and make mistakes. God knows of our blunders and works with and through them” (obviously, I don’t believe either scenario from my second statement above). I was affirming that God was with you in the aftermath of your marital breakup and would work it in His plan for good (as He clearly has). I do not see that I implied that you “married the wrong woman” or missed God’s leading by mentioning “missteps” having occurred in your past (my second comment clarified how I meant that term). Feel free to help me understand if I am missing something.
I believe that if we have a difference of opinion, it might be regarding the topic of “discerning God’s will” in general and probably “choosing a spouse” in particular; those are separate topics from your post’s theme (and not discussed here) but certainly worthy of serious consideration. (I also suspect that we hold different perspectives regarding divorce within God’s will, which I concede might have factored into this comment exchange.)
Post a Comment