There was a group in the early days of Calvary Chapel in the 1970's called "Love Song." I liked a lot of their music. One song is (obviously) called "A Love Song." In the song, these lyrics occur. "All the emotions, true feelings of life is what music of love is about." Clearly, the song is assuming that "love" is an emotion. But ... I don't think it is. So I thought I'd take a look ... at Scripture.
I've written in the past about the problem of assigning love to the "emotion" category when we're commanded to love over and over. It's not reasonable to command an emotion. It doesn't mean feelings are excluded. It simply means it can't be the definition. There are Greek words for "love" that are not purely matters of the will. For instance, philia refers to mutual affection, that of close friends. Jesus used that one when He said, "Greater love has no one than this ..." (John 15:13). Greek has eros which refers to romantic attraction and physical desire. It doesn't occur in Scripture, but the notion can be found in the Song of Solomon. Another is storge, referring to natural affection, especially familial love. This word doesn't quite occur in Scripture, but Paul uses it once in Romans when he writes, "Be devoted to one another in brotherly love" (Rom 12:10). That "brotherly love" is philadelphia, where phila is a form of philia, but "devoted" is philostorgos, the union of philia and storge. Combined, it is a cherishing of kindred. The other use is also from Paul. He writes that in the last days people will be "unloving" (2 Tim 3:3) ... astorgos, where "a" is a negation. The best translation would be "without natural affection." And, of course, as we all know, there is agapē. This one is unconditional, rooted in the will, seeking the good of the other. It's a description of God's love for us that isn't "warm affection" but a choice to seek our best.
So ... the last question, then. What version are we commanded? Every major New Testament command to love God or others uses the same Greek word ... agapē. We are commanded to agapē God (e.g., Matt 22:37) and agapē our neighbor (e.g., Matt 22:39). We are commanded to "agapē one another" as Christ has done for us (John 15:12), and Paul says this love fulfills the law (Rom 13:9-10). We're even commanded to agapē our enemies (Matt 5:44). Husbands are commanded to agapē their wives (Eph 5:25). (Interestingly, older women are commanded to teach younger women to "philandros" (affectionately love) their husbands (Titus 2:4).) It seems as if this unconditional love that is a function of the will in which we seek the best for the loved one is the love most demanded ... and not just some "warm affection" version. The dominant ethic of Christian living is this choice we're to make every day to seek the best ... for God and for others. I suspect a singular focus of that kind of love would produce a natural emotional response--warm affection--that most of us would also call "love" (Matt 6:21).
4 comments:
Love is one of those difficult words in English because it has such an extremely broad definition, ranging from a really strong liking to undying devotion. And as you point out, it is important for us to recognize what kind of love is being described in the Bible. I know many more modern Bibles try to make finer distinctions, but so many are King James Only that they miss out on such nuances that lead to incorrect expressions of love.
I have heard of the various types of “love” before and also that “agape” was the distinctive form commanded of believers. You point out that the form of love that willfully seeks the best for the recipient (and is not dependent upon feelings for activation) is to be directed towards the following:
-- God
-- Our neighbor
-- One another
-- Our enemies
-- Wives
That seems to cover just about everyone a man might regularly encounter (I’ll include husbands, children, and even in-laws in with “one another” for women). I can certainly see how misguided it would be to wait to experience warm feelings or affectionate emotions towards any of these categories of recipients before acting. (Afterall, we might never feel warmly towards our enemies, the neighbor with the barking dog, a shrewish wife, a meddling mother-in-law, etc.)
I saw “agape” described online as “God-level love,” which certainly does clarify its distinction, as it mirrors the Lord’s love towards His creatures and should certainly characterize a follower of Christ (John 13:35). I am mindful that the expression of this highest form of love will look different as it is extended to each category of recipient you mentioned--for example, “agape” towards God would be worshipful devotion, but that would not be appropriate for all those I am commanded to love.
As an aside, it seems odd to me that John 15:13 used “philia” rather than “agape,” since giving up your life for a friend (even a very close friend) strikes me as a rather extreme act of friendship; it sounds moreso like sacrificial “agape” to me.
Love is a frustrating word. There are so many different ways that the term is used that cover a vast spectrum of meaning.
I can see why "philia" is used in John. It's about loving brethren. The one that really surprised me was the unusual one --"philandros"--in Titus 2:4. Husbands are commanded to "agape" their wives, but wives should be warmly affectionate toward their husbands.
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