We in America value "independence." Just what is independence? According to the dictionary, it means, "not subject to control by others." Well ... sort of. I mean, we are subject to the control of others in life. It also means, "not requiring or relying on something else : not contingent." But ... we are contingent. We require farmers and merchants and law enforcement and friends and family and ... a very long list of others. It seems like "independence" is a myth ... and ought to be.
What is it that drives our love of "independence"? Part of it is the idea of self-control. We like to believe we are captains of our own fate. Another is self-authorship. We want to think we're the protagonists of our own story. In the 1950s and 60s, psychologist Harry Harlow did experiments with monkeys. His experiments showed that humans don't just want touch; they need it. As in orphanages where children experienced minimal contact, humans are stunted, weakened, suffer cognitive delays, and a dramatically higher mortality rate. Conversely, science shows us that skin-to-skin contact of newborns stabilizes their heart rate and breathing, increases oxytocin, and produces stronger bonds and better emotional regulation. That is, we aren't just better if we're not independent. We are born dependent, remain interdependent, and cannot survive actual independence.
Independence actually is a myth. Hillary famously said, "It takes a village to raise a child." She had large political intentions and I decry some of them, but the fact is ... we are a race that requires community -- family, friends, neighbors, farther and farther out. The early church made a practice of it. "Day by day continuing with one mind in the temple, and breaking bread from house to house, they were taking their meals together with gladness and sincerity of heart" (Acts 2:46). Believers are commanded to not forsake our own assembling together (Heb 10:25). Jesus said, "By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another" (John 13:35). Our drive for "independence" is a drive for a myth that can't actually occur and shouldn't actually occur. Instead, dependence on the God who owns us and saved us and on each other is the ultimate good (Matt 22:37-40). It's our sin nature that pushes us toward independence, and it's clearly the wrong direction.
7 comments:
Stan, you wrote, “In the 1950s and 60s, psychologist Harry Harlow did experiments with monkeys. His experiments showed that humans don't just want touch; they need it.”
I don’t quite see the connection between Harlow’s experiments with monkeys and those with humans. Did you leave out a thought there?
No, I didn't leave out a connection. Harlow started the question with his monkey experiments which led to the studies of children in orphanages. The two supported the position that touch is a necessity, not a nice thing to have.
Which is why I believe that as we look back at the consequences of the COVID response that we will realize how much damage the restrictions actually did.
I didn’t see the move from monkeys to humans (I guess it was the missing link ;), but clearly it is implied.
I agree that “‘independence’ is a myth … and ought to be.” Lately, I have been very mindful of just how reliant I am upon others--including for the most basic and practical aspects of my life. If I am productive and thriving these days, it’s certainly not due to my self-sufficiency. Instead, I depend upon so many things and people in my daily existence:
--The thin wires that bring electric power, Internet connection, cable TV, and telephone service back to our house. When they fail, daily life can quickly grind to a halt.
--The well pump that draws clean water 300 feet up out of the ground to our plumbing fixtures. When we turn on a faucet and nothing comes out, it is practically a disaster (yes, it happened to us).
--The tradespeople who service our various home systems. How often they save the day!
--The government agency that forwards Social Security funds to our bank account, enabling us to pay our bills.
--The health care providers who help ensure my physical wellbeing--very much God’s provision to me right now.
--My indispensable spouse of 47 years--without whom I suppose I could survive, but it would be “no life at all.”
--Most of all, the Almighty and loving God who “gives to all life, breath, and all things” (Acts 17:25)--who literally keeps me alive.
Me, an independent woman? I have never been and never will be!
Sorry about the mix up, Lorna. I deleted the wrong one and then had no recourse. Thanks for resubmitting it.
No problem! (I wondered if perhaps I had reached my lifetime quota. ;)
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