Give no offense to Jews or to Greeks or to the church of God, just as I try to please everyone in everything I do, not seeking my own advantage, but that of many, that they may be saved. (1 Cor 10:32-33)Does that strike you as odd? "I try to please everyone in everything I do." It seems as if this is a view that the world would hold, but we shouldn't.
To make sense of this, it's important to get the context. Paul had just said, "Whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God" (1 Cor 10:31). Clearly, then, Paul is not saying, "Our primary motivation should be to please everyone." What is our primary motivation? Glorify God. What he was talking about in this text was the need to control your freedoms for the sake of others. It's clearest when he says, "Let no one seek his own good, but the good of his neighbor" (1 Cor 10:24). So he's not saying to be a people-pleaser. He's saying to provide for the best for others. In Ephesians he warns servants to obey "not by the way of eye-service, as people-pleasers, but as bondservants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart, rendering service with a good will as to the Lord and not to man" (Eph 6:6-7). Not as people-pleasers, but as servants of Christ.
This works out fine when you think about it. We're aiming not for our own benefit. That's repeated. Die to self, remember? "Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others" (Php 2:3-4). We're to consider what glorifies God and what's best for others. It's not about people-pleasing like so many do. It's about God-glorifying by giving of self for others' best interests.
2 comments:
These thoughts seem to pick right up from yesterday’s post, where you wrote, “Our world idolizes those who pursue their own self-interests. Scripture doesn't. We're supposed to have God's glory and loving Him and people as priorities ... over self.” You touched on an interesting contrast today--the difference between pleasing others (where one is motivated by a heartfelt desire for others’ best) versus being a people-pleaser (where one primarily acts out of a subconscious fear of rejection by others). While the terms sound alike, the former focuses on providing for others’ sincere needs, while the latter is fed by one’s own need for personal affirmation. One seeks to demonstrate Christlike attitudes and actions, while the other resorts to “eye-service” or disingenuous behavior meant to impress. The first lovingly builds others up; the second primarily bolsters our own self-esteem.
I have a book on this very topic: When People Are Big and God Is Small: Overcoming Peer Pressure, Codependency, and the Fear of Man, by Edward T. Welch. Although I read this book many years ago, I well recall how it stressed that holding a proper view of the Lord and our standing before Him, as sinners saved by grace, allows us to treat other people in a less self-serving and insincere manner. The fear of God diminishes the fear of Man, so we are free to glorify God and serve others exactly as Paul is admonishing us to do.
That first reference is exactly what the world wants... everyone else to do. They want themselves to still be self-focused, and the rest of the world to focus on them too.
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