The classic line from the Cole Porter song is, “What is this thing called love?” Recently the discussion was, “What is this thing called marriage?
When Scripture speaks of sexual sin, it does so within a clear and consistent framework for what marriage actually is. The Bible never treats marriage as a private sentiment or an informal declaration between two individuals. Instead, it presents marriage as a public, covenantal union, established before God, witnessed by others, and sealed by the one flesh bond He Himself ordained.
From the beginning, marriage is framed as a covenant. Malachi reminds Israel that a man’s wife is “your companion and your wife by covenant” (Mal 2:14), and Proverbs speaks of the woman who “forsakes the companion of her youth and forgets the covenant of her God” (Pro 2:17). A covenant is not a private arrangement; it is a binding, accountable commitment made in the open and under God’s authority. Throughout Scripture, marriage is always publicly acknowledged—families participate (Gen 24; Gen 29), witnesses stand by (Ruth 4:9–11), and the community recognizes the union as legitimate (Deu 22). Even when the cultural forms vary, the pattern remains: marriage is a public covenant, not a private improvisation.
The Bible also assumes that covenantal commitments are expressed and affirmed. We see declarations of intent (“I will go,” Gen 24:58), formal agreements (Gen 29:18–20), witnesses who ratify the union (Ruth 4:9–11), and blessings spoken over the couple (Ruth 4:11–12). None of these require a modern state license, but all of them demonstrate that marriage is never merely two people deciding, in private, that they are married. It is a union established with the knowledge and recognition of the community.
Sexual union then consummates the covenant. Genesis declares that “the two shall become one flesh” (Gen 2:24), and Paul warns that sexual union itself carries covenantal weight: “Do you not know that he who is joined to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For, ‘The two will become one flesh’” (1 Cor 6:16). But Scripture never treats sex as the thing that creates marriage. Rather, sex seals a covenant that already exists. Without the covenant, sexual union is not marriage; it is sin (Heb 13:4; 1 Thess 4:3–5).
Taken together, the biblical picture is unmistakable: marriage is a publicly recognized covenant between a man and a woman, established before witnesses, blessed by God, and sealed by the one flesh union He designed. That is why Scripture consistently treats sex outside of marriage as sin—because sexual union belongs to the covenant God instituted, not to private arrangements or personal declarations.
We often hear today, "I don't need a piece of paper telling me I'm married." And that is true (I have no clue where my marriage license is). But that rejects the idea that marriage is more than just a promise between two people. Marriage is a covenantal event and a communal good, which is why it needs to be public vows. We are really good at convincing ourselves that we really never said or meant something we said in the past, so having friends and family witness helps to keep us honest with ourselves. Today, we've given up on the community aspect of marriage, and it shows. It is part of why divorce rates are so high. We no longer have a community supporting marriage, and I'm sure we all have people in our lives that if we talked to them about the unpleasant parts of our marriage would immediately go to divorce as the answer. If our community doesn't care about the vows of marriage, how can we be surprised when the individuals don't either. And the failure of humans to take vows seriously doesn't make vows insincere. God warns that we should be careful about taking any vows, how much more important are the vows of marriage when sealed by the sexual union that joins two people in a profound way?
ReplyDeleteExcellent post!!!!
ReplyDeleteMany years ago, I was taught that when we read Bible narratives, we should give close attention to the “descriptive vs. prescriptive” guideline--i.e. differentiating between whether the writer of the Bible passage is saying, “This is the way [such and such] happened” and whether the Author of the Bible is proclaiming, “This is the way I desire [such and such] to happen.” I must discern whether I am reading merely an account of a particular event that occurred or something more broadly instructive. I would not wish to draw conclusions, form convictions, and establish principles for my faith and practice based on isolated illustrations of events that perhaps weren’t intended to serve as blueprints for going forward. Admittedly, I have not examined each of your illustrations in detail and context, but upon a cursory reading, I easily see a mixture of descriptive and prescriptive accounts, which I must interpret properly.
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