(Lorna asked ... I'm answering.)
The two sayings in Proverbs 26—“Answer not a fool according to his folly” and “Answer a fool according to his folly”—sit side by side, and at first glance they seem to pull in opposite directions. But that tension is precisely the point. Proverbs isn’t a book of mechanical rules; it’s a book of wisdom, and wisdom always requires discernment. These paired verses teach that there is no one-size-fits-all way to deal with folly. Sometimes the wise thing is to stay silent, because engaging a fool on his terms only drags you down to his level. Other times the wise thing is to speak, because silence would allow the fool to walk away thinking he’s right. The contradiction isn’t a flaw—it’s a feature. It forces us to slow down, read the moment, and choose our response with care.
Taken together, these verses remind us that human folly is complex. A fool can be combative one moment and self-assured the next. If you answer him, you risk becoming entangled in his nonsense. If you don’t answer him, you risk confirming him in his arrogance. Wisdom is knowing which danger is present. Proverbs 26:4 warns against being pulled into foolishness; Proverbs 26:5 warns against letting foolishness go unchallenged. Both are true, and both are needed. The skill is discerning which truth applies right now.
As we walk with people—family, friends, coworkers, even fellow believers—we will meet folly in many forms. These verses call us to a kind of Spirit-led attentiveness. Before we speak, we ask: “Will my words elevate this conversation or simply add fuel to the fire?” Before we stay silent, we ask: “Will my silence protect peace or merely allow error to harden?” Wisdom is not merely knowing what Scripture says; it is knowing how to apply it in the real, messy lives God has placed around us. And the good news is that the Lord delights to give wisdom to those who ask. May He grant us the discernment to know when to speak, when to refrain, and how to reflect His grace in both.
Answering Fools (Lorna asked ... I'm answering.)
ReplyDeleteI appreciate that you addressed this matter (drawing upon your vast experience, no doubt) … and I don’t mind that you opened up the post by inadvertently calling me a fool! :-D
I think we all realize that the internet and social media have provided a plethora of platforms and outlets for all kinds of people to share their thoughts; we are no doubt presently exposed to more fools and foolishness than ever before (along with the good stuff). Clearly, due to time and energy constraints, we can engage with neither all those with whom we disagree or those of like mind. Thus, wisdom, discernment, discipline, self-control, and realistic assessments are needed in all instances.
When I consider the Proverbs 26 reference to “fools” and “folly,” I see it as excellent general insight and therefore very good overall advice (which you clarified very well). The problem I would have is judging the best option of the two (answering or not answering) on the spot. If I consider the choice between (1) answering a fool and proving myself to be as ignorant and uninformed as him--i.e. being just like him--or (2) speaking up in order to correct error before it spreads further--i.e. encouraging humility and teachability in another--I realize that my response might rest on my confidence in my knowledge of the subject matter, as well as the urgency of the correction, as I see it. To my mind, some issues are not worth the time, effort, and keystrokes devoted to arguing about them ad nauseam, while others are (I realize this is an individual matter of the Spirit’s leading). Even if I decide to speak the truth in love (Eph. 4:15), I am mindful that the New Testament provides instruction for dealing with heretics, false teachers, trouble-makers, lapsed believers, busybodies, etc.--and, as it happens, none of it encourages arguing, debating, etc. (quite the opposite, in fact). (There is also pertinent guidance in Scripture regarding God-honoring ways to defend the truth, share the gospel, extend grace towards others, love our enemies, be angry without sinning, redeem our time, be good stewards of our gifts and resources, and more.) To me, those NT directives and examples would augment the general wisdom of Proverbs 26:4-5 in the specific areas of contending for the faith and general apologetics/polemics.
May He grant us the discernment to know when to speak, when to refrain, and how to reflect His grace in both. Those wise words truly reflect the desire of my heart. May it always be so.
I also happen to be in the midst of this very dilemma with a couple of fools at work (fools in the biblical sense who say there is no God). One, every argument I bring against his view simply shifts to something even more ridiculous. The other is considering the conversation.
DeleteThat verse was probably put there to confound the fools.
ReplyDeleteDo you really think that? The advice in those verses is being offered to those who are dealing with fools, not directed to the fools themselves. I doubt that one is being encouraged to play mind games of sorts with them but to act wisely. (At least that is the goal I would be seeking.)
DeleteI was being funny (clearly I failed). However, the Bible is full of passages that confound fools.
DeleteI thought it was funny, David. But that's why I dislike electronic dialog. No facial expressions, no nuance, no laugh.
DeleteOh, I see, David. Sorry to have missed that. I did think that today’s theme was a fairly serious topic for consideration/discussion, so it didn’t occur to me that you weren’t being serious.
DeleteI was being mildly serious because it is passages like this that seem so clear to us that make people doubt Scripture, making their foolishness evident to us. I wasn't talking about what it says for us to do, but what it says about the state of mind of those that don't understand. Which I think is a biblical take.
DeleteActually, the contradictory advice in the two verses--“answer a fool”/”don’t answer a fool”--makes it very unclear to me; thus the concern I raised originally (a valid one, I think). Even with Stan’s good clarification, I’m not sure I would know which choice I should/would make in the moment, as I mentioned. Guess my “state of mind” is suspect! (Interestingly, both you and Stan called me a fool at this post! LOL)
DeleteP.S. As it happens, I would have been interested in learning what you felt about the actual advice--especially if it is so clear to you, as you say.
I understand it to be saying to be aware of who you're talking to. There's a time to let the fool be foolish because he's not interested in wisdom ("Answer not a fool according to his folly"). There's a time to follow the fool's argument to it's logical conclusion, showing him the foolishness of his ways ("Answer a fool according to his folly"). Knowing which at the time takes patience, wisdom, and prayer.
DeleteI, too, understand that as the general idea. I think that ascertaining the best option is difficult, unless one knows the “fool” (and his state of mind/heart) very well (and that’s not likely with online engagement). Perhaps I am overthinking this whole dilemma, but I have been convicted about this matter for a while now, as it regards interacting with others on the internet (particularly at weblogs). I have been fortunate over the years to have found dozens of very beneficial sites, where the content, the host(s), and the general tone are edifying, respectful, and gracious; I generally avoid those that don’t meet that standard (including some that moved from beneficial to less-than beneficial over time). Personally, I am not seeking an outlet to argue online with relative (or complete) strangers; therefore, one of my concerns is contributing to idle talk and unproductive exchanges of opinion. I will continue seeking the Holy Spirit’s leading in this area.
DeleteA general comment from the heart: I am surprised (and disappointed) that other readers/commenters--especially those with their own blogs--didn’t weigh in at this post. I also was interested in how Stan’s own perspective and practice have changed during his twenty years of blogging, as it seems that he once readily engaged with “fools” at Winging It, whereas he no longer does. Hopefully, all Stan’s visitors here will take what he wrote--and our guidance from God’s Word--to heart, as we seek to both speak the truth in love and use our time wisely. I for one will be praying about personal application. (In fact, I will be able to mull this over for a few weeks, as I am preparing to leave Tuesday morning for a three-week-long, cross-country road-trip, during which I will have ten days of monotonous interstate travel to fill. Perhaps my time away from this comment section will give me clarity regarding future participation.)
ReplyDelete