Jobs That Didn't Work Out
- The Mapmaker in Arizona: He was alright at maps, but it turned out he didn’t have a good sense of Yuma.
- The Archaeologist: He loved digging up the past, but his career quickly went into ruins.
- The Baker: She wanted to make a bunch of dough, but she just couldn’t rise to the occasion.
- The Barber: He was great at his job, but he just couldn’t make the cut.
- The Astronaut: She was highly qualified, but her career never really took off, and she just ended up taking up space.
- The Electrician: He was brilliant, but he was ultimately fired for conducting himself poorly.
- The Tailor: He tried his best to fit in, but it was a sew-sew effort and things just unraveled.
- The Gym Teacher: She was full of energy, but things just weren’t working out.
- The Roofer: He was at the top of his game, but the job was over his head.
- The Clockmaker: He wanted to put in the hours, but he wound up ticking everyone off.
- The Hypnotist: He was mesmerizing at first, but he eventually lost his focus.
- The Submarine Captain: He was a deep thinker, but his career quickly went under.
- The Historian: He was eager, but realized there was no future in it.
- The Parachutist: It worked out well until he jumped to a conclusion.
Proof that puns are the smartest humor.
ReplyDeleteI loved the humor this morning! (I would have tried to think up a few new ones of my own, if you had given us more of a head’s up. :-D)
ReplyDeleteHere’s a few I found online:
I got fired from the bomb squad yesterday. It's a shame because I had a blast on my first day.
I got squeezed out of the orange juice factory. They said I couldn’t concentrate.
I was going to be a professional fisherman, but I couldn’t live on my net income.
I was hired to work at a bank, but I lost interest.
I used to work for an elevator company; the job had its ups and downs.
I got fired from the keyboard factory because I wasn't putting in enough shifts.
I used to be an orthopedic surgeon, but then I was given the elbow.
I wanted to be a shoemaker, but I didn't have the sole for it.
I tried working as a plumber, but those plans went down the drain.
In reply to both of you, I guess I just left the door open for you to try out some of your own. (And, David, puns are certainly more cerebral than some humor ... but ... smart? Maybe. It takes a twisted mind, doesn't it?)
ReplyDeleteA “twisted mind”? Hey, I resemble that remark! (OK, I’ll try to stop now.)
DeleteGroan. :oD
ReplyDeleteThank you, Glenn. That is EXACTLY the right response.
DeleteIn the spirit of puns, I thought I'd post a little thing Lorna sent me.
ReplyDeleteI bought a wooden whistle, but it wooden whistle.
So I bought a steel whistle, but it steel wooden whistle.
So I bought a lead whistle, but it steel wooden lead me whistle.
So I bought a copper whistle, but the copper steel wooden lead me whistle.
So I bought a tin whistle. Now I can whistle.
(Should that last line read, "Now I tin whistle"?)
DeleteActually, the “I can whistle” plays off of “tin can” (from the days before aluminum cans).
DeleteSorry, one last one ;). I would say that contrary to your theme of “Jobs That Didn’t Work Out,” you employed your wordplay skills well today.
ReplyDeleteI was saving this for a “Dad joke” offering sometime, but since it includes both a pun and references to employment, I think it fits in today’s theme.
ReplyDeleteA man loses three fingers in a work accident. At the hospital he asks the doctor, “Will I be able to drive with this hand?” The doctor replies, “Maybe, but I wouldn’t count on it.”
I repeated this pun to a friend the other day, and she laughed heartily, so I think it’s worthy to go here:
ReplyDeleteI didn’t think my chiropractor was any good at first, but now I stand corrected.
That’s pretty good, actually. I liked the one about the little league right fielder, bored and distracted, who suddenly looked up to see something coming toward him. He was trying to figure out what it was … and then it hit him.
DeleteWhen my friend tossed her head back and hooted at my pun, I thought, “Careful, don’t throw your back out laughing!” That’s when I thought to come back here with that one. (And lest anyone think I offer up random puns to my friends: we were discussing her recent visit to a chiropractor, so that crack from me was in full alignment. :)
Delete“And then it hit him.” A classic.
The giggles just keep on coming.
ReplyDelete