It’s Mother’s Day and I find myself drawn today to the climax of this particular text.
Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: “Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.” Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears YHWH is to be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates. (Prov 31:28-31)I know mothers like that. I have a mother like that. My wife has been a mother like that. Their children rise up and “call her blessed.” These women fear the Lord. They “surpass them all”. I’m particularly interested in the part that says, “A woman who fears the Lord is to be praised” because the women I know like that are humble and would be embarrassed. But it’s God who says they should be, so, today, I stand up with others to give the proper praise to the women of this world who are mothers, serving their husbands and children and those around them, with strength and diligence and dignity. For them I say also, “Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates” ... especially today.
The “Proverbs 31 woman” certainly had a lot on her plate, as does many a modern-day equivalent. I have gone through similarly busy seasons in my life, but my most favored roles through the decades have always been Christian wife, mother, and homemaker. I was overjoyed when I became a mother almost 34 years ago (in my late 30s and after 14 years of marriage, as it happened), but about 15 years ago, I choose to end the observance of “Mother’s Day” in our household. As you suggested, being “fussed over” for fulfilling a special role bestowed upon me by the Lord made me very uncomfortable, and leading my children to do this on a particular day every year seemed inappropriate and self-serving (the same applies to “Father’s Day,” which we also ignore). Rather than praising me personally, I would wish that my children instead thank God that He placed them in a family where they are cherished and loved. I appreciate your praise for women who complete their life’s work with devotion and service to the Lord and others--every day of the year.
ReplyDeleteWe have an interesting dichotomy as believers. We think, for instance, that serving God without a view for the rewards He promises is nobler than serving God with His rewards in view. We think that "being fussed over" is a bad thing when Scripture commands us to "Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates." Why can't we just be grateful for the rewards He promises and the "praise" our loved ones are told to give us? I don't know. It's an enigma.
DeleteProbably because we are too easily swayed to pride in ourselves.
DeleteI cannot speak for others (and I admit that I tend to be highly enigmatic :), but for me it is not a rejection of praise on principle but of the contrived nature of such a “holiday” on the calendar. I liked your reference to the ideal virtuous woman depicted in Proverbs 31, which extols her responsibilities and influence as wife, household manager, caregiver, businesswoman, etc. What I have come to dislike about “Mother’s Day” is the “I’m Queen for the Day” mentality that many mothers (both good and bad ones) indulge, which I see as not only stemming from pride and entitlement but further feeding it. (Just watch how many a woman behaves when she does not receive what she deems her “due honor and respect” from her children [and even grandchildren] on this Hallmark holiday! It’s practically obligatory to celebrate it as the culture dictates.) (Even worse, sometimes that “queen” status is even extended beyond one day to a full-time mindset!) In my case, I recognized the negative heart attitudes fostered by holding such expectations for others, and I put a stop to it in my life. (Fortunately, I got a preview of my future self by observing my late mother-in-law’s behavior over 60 years. I am grateful to God for that warning, which I was quick to heed.)
DeleteI also know mothers like that, and they are absolutely to be praised for their faithfulness.
ReplyDelete